National Lampoon’s – Loaded Weapon 1 (11 WAVs Found)
lw1-afterbeep.wav
Wes Luger … {Answering Machine} “You’ve reached the desk of Sergeant Wes Luger. Please leave a message after the beep.”
Billie … “Yeah, Wes, it’s me, Billie.”
Wes Luger … {Answering Machine} “Hey! I said AFTER the beep!”
Billie … “Excuse me.”
Length
00:13
Filesize
32k
lw1-carbombs.wav
{Explosion}
Jack Colt … “Good thing we used valet parking.”
Wes Luger … “TAXI!”
{Another Explosion}
Jack Colt … “Guess we’re making somebody nervous. Tell you what, it’s gonna take a lot more than a couple of car bombs to get us off this case.”
Wes Luger … “Not a hell of a lot more!”
Length
00:20
Filesize
47k
lw1-chicken.wav
Jack Colt … “I just gotta ask. What does human flesh taste like?”
Harold Leacher … “Chicken.”
Length
00:06
Filesize
13k
lw1-excited.wav
Jack Colt … “When Claire was excited to see me she’d pee on my leg.”
Length
00:13
Filesize
32k
lw1-footonfire.wav
Wes Luger … “Whatcha have, Irv?”
Irv … “Well I’m not sure, Sarge, it’s a nagging, itching, burning sensation.”
Wes Luger … “What the hell do you expect, you’re foot’s on fire!”
Length
00:10
Filesize
24k
lw1-licktoes.wav
Wes Luger … “You two we’re living together?”
Jack Colt … “Hell, she used to sleep at my feet and lick my toes. Though, sometimes she’d forget about me and lick herself for hours.”
Length
00:09
Filesize
22k
lw1-lucky.wav
Jack Colt … “I know what you’re thinkin’, punk. You’re thinking ‘did he fire a hundred and seventy-three times or a hundred and seventy-four’? Well, do you feel lucky, punk?”
Length
00:16
Filesize
38k
lw1-nitemare.wav
Jack Colt … “Who the hell are you?”
Jigsaw … “I am your WORST nightmare!”
Jack Colt … “No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare.”
Jigsaw … “Okay, all right, so I’m not your worst nightmare, but I’m RIGHT up there!”
Length
00:17
Filesize
42k
lw1-nuzzle.wav
Wes Luger … “Personally, I don’t think it’s such a good idea to get that involved with your partner.”
Jack Colt … “Hey, pal, you try not getting involved with a partner who saves your life one minute then nuzzles your crotch the next.”
Length
00:09
Filesize
22k
lw1-oic.wav
Wes Luger … “There’s something between you and this General Mortars.”
Jack Colt … “He was my C.O. in Nam. The C.I.A. listed him as M.I.A. but the V.A. Id’d his M.O. and we put out an A.P.B.”
Wes Lugar: “Oh, I see.”
Length
00:11
Filesize
27k
lw1-scotty.wav
Wes Lugar … “I want the York case.”
Captain Doyle … “There is no York case, it was a suicide! Coffee? Cappuccino? Espresso?”
{Explosion}
Captain Doyle … “Hey, Scotty, can you get this machine to work?”
Scotty … “I’m givin’ her all she’s got, Captain! If I push it any harder the whole thing will blow!”
Length
00:17
Filesize
40k
