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Location: Home > Movies > Being John Malkovich (28 WAVs Found)

bjm-adoor.wav
John Cusack as Craig Schwartz ... "There's a tiny door in my office, Maxine! It's a portal, and it takes you inside John Malkovich. You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes, and then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!"
Catherine Keener as Maxine ... "Sounds great! Who the fuck is John Malkovich?"

Length
00:19
Filesize
205k

bjm-beingyou.wav
Craig ... "Mr. Malkovich! I think I can explain!"
John Malkovich as John Malkovich ... "Yeah? Explain."
Craig ... "My name is Craig Schwartz....and we operate a little business here, that simulates for our clientele, well, the experience of.....of being you, actually."
John M. ... "Simulates??"
Craig ... "Yeah, after a fashion."
John M. ... "What exactly does that mean?"
Craig ... "Well, it's hard to describe."

Length
00:24
Filesize
259k

bjm-bestill.wav
Orson Bean as Dr. Lester ... "Ah, tell me Lottie, can you understand a word I'm saying?!"
Cameron Diaz as Lotte Schwartz ... "Oh yes, Dr. Lester, absolutely. You were just explaining the, um, nutritional value of ingesting minerals through a colloidal form, which I personally couldn't agree more with."
Dr. Lester ... "Oh, be still my heart!"

Length
00:16
Filesize
175k

bjm-callsme.wav
John M. ... "The...this...the weird thing is this Maxine likes to call me Lottie."
Charlie Sheen as Charlie ... "Ouch! That is hot! Maybe she's using you to channel some dead lesbian lover...Sounds like my kind of gal! Let me know when you're done with her, yeah?"
John M. ... "What are you talking about, done with her? Tonight really freaked me out!"

Length
00:19
Filesize
202k

bjm-carrot.wav
Craig ... "I mean, how old are you, sir?"
Dr. Lester ... "105. Carrot juice. Lots of it. I swear, sometimes it's not worth it. I piss orange. And I have to piss sitting down, like a goddamn girlie-girl....every 15 minutes."

Length
00:16
Filesize
170k

bjm-ceilings.wav
Dr. Lester ... "Any questions?"
Craig ... "Well, just one. Why are these ceilings so low?"
Dr. Lester ... "Low overhead my boy! We pass the savings onto you! Hahaha"

Length
00:10
Filesize
109k

bjm-chest.wav
Mary Kay Place as Floris ... "Mr. Juarez?"
Craig ... "Oh! Yes?"
Floris ... "Chest??"
Craig ... "I said Yes!"
Floris ... "You suggest what? I'm sorry, I have no time for piddling suggestions from mumbling job applicants. Besides, Dr. Lester will see you now."

Length
00:15
Filesize
158k

bjm-darkside.wav
John M. ... "I have been to the dark side! I have seen a world that no man should see!"
Craig ... "Really? For most people, it's a rather pleasant experience."

Length
00:08
Filesize
82k

bjm-guinness.wav
Dr. Lester ... "Floris! Get Guinness on the phone!"
Floris ... "Ah, yes sir, Genghis Kahn Capone. Fine."
Dr. Lester ... "Damn fine woman, Floris. I don't know how she puts up with this speech impediment of mine."

Length
00:09
Filesize
102k

bjm-inside.wav
Lottie ... "Being inside did something to me. I knew who I was! It was like everything made sense. You know? I-I knew who I was!"
Floris ... "Of course, you were inside Malkovich."
Lottie ... "I was, wasn't I? I was John Malkovich."

Length
00:20
Filesize
211k

bjm-itsmine.wav
John M. ... "That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever, for the love of God!"

Length
00:06
Filesize
60k

bjm-kindlie.wav
Dr. Lester ... "You see, she's got her doctorate in speech impedimentology from Case Western. I apologize if you can't understand a word I'm saying."
Craig ... "No, I understand perfectly."
Dr. Lester ... "Well, that's very kind of you to lie."

Length
00:12
Filesize
130k

bjm-leswitch.wav
John M. ... "Charlie, I don't know anything about the girl, man! She could be like a fucking witch or something!"
Charlie ... "That's even better!! Hot lesbian witches! Think about it! It's fucking genius!"

Length
00:10
Filesize
111k

bjm-letmdoit.wav
John M. ... "I want to do it then."
Craig ... "I'm sure that would pale in comparison to the actual experience."
John M. ... "I WANT TO DO IT!!"
Craig ... "Well, right now, Mr. Hiroshi's in the tube, and he's got about."
Maxine ... "Let him do it, Craig."
Craig ... "Of course! Right this way, Mr. Malkovich! Compliments of the house."

Length
00:12
Filesize
132k

bjm-madehimtalk.wav
Craig ... "I made him move his arm across your girlfriend's glorious tit! Oh! And, I made him talk sort of! It's just a matter of practice, until Malkovich is nothing more than another puppet hanging next to my work table."

Length
00:16
Filesize
170k

bjm-myhead.wav
Craig ... "Mr. Malkovich, sir...With all due respect, I discovered that portal. I mean, it's my livelihood! You understand?"
John M. ... "IT'S MY HEAD! SCHWARTZ! IT'S MY HEAD!! I will see you in court!!"

Length
00:15
Filesize
158k

bjm-myname.wav
Craig ... "Actually, my name is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester."
Dr. Lester ... "SECURITY!!"
Craig ... "No, sir, it's....just a little mix up with your secretary. My name is Craig Schwartz. I tried to explain that to her."
Dr. Lester ... "She's not my secretary. She's what they call an Executive Liaison. And I'm not banging her, if that's what you're implying!"
Craig ... "No sir, not at all. I think I must have simply misspoke."

Length
00:22
Filesize
240k

bjm-mytits.wav
Craig ... "I like you. I don't know what it is about you, but I....just..."
Maxine ... "My tits?"
Craig ... "NO! Ho-ho....no, no.."
Maxine ... "No?"
Craig ... "No, it's your energy. Your attitude. The way you carry yourself."
Maxine ... "You're not a fag, are you?"
Craig ... "No, no...I am really attracted to you."
Maxine ... "I AM really attracted to you...Christ, you are a fag. Okay, well, we can share recipes if you'd like, darling."
Craig ... "No, no, no wait...I love your tits! I love them! I want to fuck them!"
Maxine ... "Good! Great! Now we're getting somewhere! Not a chance!" (Everyone around them laughs)

Length
00:25
Filesize
268k

bjm-mytower.wav
Dr. Lester ... "You see, I've been, ah, very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech."

Length
00:06
Filesize
61k

bjm-nosuch.wav
Lottie ... "There's no such thing as a hole or a portal into somebody's brain!"
Craig ... "Yes there is! Could be a brain...or a soul, or whatever! I was inside John Malkovich looking out!"

Length
00:11
Filesize
120k

bjm-nuts.wav
Charlie Sheen ... "You're nuts to let a girl go that calls you Lottie. I'm telling you that as a friend."

Length
00:04
Filesize
38k

bjm-ownportal.wav
Craig ... "What happens when a man goes through his own portal?"
Maxine ... "We'll see!"

Length
00:04
Filesize
41k

bjm-reallygood.wav
Craig (As John M.) ... "It's really good! I look really...amazing! I'd fuck me!"

Length
00:04
Filesize
47k

bjm-retard.wav
Restaurant patron ... "Excuse me, are you John Malkovich?"
John M. ... "Yes, I am."
Restaurant patron ... "Wow...you're really great in that movie...where you play that retard."
John M. ... "Oh, thank you very much. Thank you."

Length
00:10
Filesize
110k

bjm-someone.wav
John M. ... "Charlie, someone was talking through my mouth!"
Charlie ... "You were stoned! Case closed, end of story!"

Length
00:06
Filesize
67k

bjm-thetruth.wav
John M. ... "I gotta know the truth, Charlie."
Charlie ... "The truth is for suckers, Johnny boy!"

Length
00:04
Filesize
44k

bjm-tickets.wav
Maxine ... "So I've been thinking...Is this Malkovich fellow appealing?"
Craig ... "Maxine! Yes, of course, Maxine. He's a celebrity."
Maxine ... "Good. We'll sell tickets!"
Craig ... "Tickets to Malkovich?"
Maxine ... "Exactly! $200 a pop!"

Length
00:14
Filesize
151k

bjm-tvspot.wav
TV Commentator ... "The enigmatic John Malkovich. One of the world's greatest entertainers, and the man who reinvented how we view puppeteering. Tonight, we look at the man above the strings, and the woman behind the man."

Length
00:13
Filesize
141k


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