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dumb-2and2.wav
Jim Carrey as Lloyd Christmas ... "Why ya goin' to the airport? Flyin' somewhere?"
Lauren Holly as Mary Swanson ... "How'd you guess?"
Lloyd ... "Well, I saw your luggage, and when I saw the airline ticket I put two and two together."
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Length
00:11
Filesize
114k |
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dumb-accent.wav
Lloyd ... "That's a lovely accent you have. New Jesey?"
??? ... "Austria."
Lloyd ... "Austria! Well then, good day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barby!"
??? ... "Let's not."
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Length
00:17
Filesize
181k |
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dumb-annoy.wav
Lloyd ... "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? ANNNNNK!!!"
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Length
00:10
Filesize
107k |
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dumb-aspen.wav
Lloyd ... "So where ya headed?"
Mary ... "Aspen."
Lloyd ... "Mmm...California, beautiful."
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Length
00:07
Filesize
73k |
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dumb-at10.wav
Jeff Daniels as Harry Dunne ... "...why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?"
Lloyd ... "I just figured she was a raging alcoholic."
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Length
00:10
Filesize
110k |
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dumb-beam.wav
Lloyd ... "Oh yea, yea. Tractor beam. Sucked me right in."
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Length
00:05
Filesize
107k |
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dumb-bet.wav
Lloyd ... "I bet you 20 bucks I can get ya gambling before the end of the day."
Harry ... "No way."
Lloyd ... "I'll give you 3 to 1 odds..."
Harry ... "Nope."
Lloyd ... "5 to 1?"
Harry ... "Nope."
Lloyd ... "10 to 1?"
Harry ... "Your On!"
[Laughing]
Lloyd ... "I'm gonna get ya! I don't know how, but I'm gonna get ya!"
Harry ... "Uh uhh..."
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Length
00:22
Filesize
232k |
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dumb-boneher.wav
Lloyd ... "First time I set eyes on Mary Swanson I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling. Where I'd do anything to bone her."
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Length
00:09
Filesize
95k |
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dumb-boozin.wav
Motorcycle Cop ... "You fellas been doin' a bit of boozin' have ya? Suckin' back on Grandpa's old cough medicine?"
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Length
00:05
Filesize
55k |
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dumb-breeding.wav
Harry ... "I've even bred them."
Mary ... "Oh yeah, any unusual breeding?"
Harry ... "No mostly just doggy style."
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Length
00:05
Filesize
54k |
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dumb-bullshit.wav
Harry ... "One time we successfully mated a bulldog with a shitzu."
Mary ... "Really, that's weird."
Harry ... "Yeah, we called it a bull-shit."
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Length
00:14
Filesize
151k |
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dumb-butt.wav
Harry ... "Holy geez, look at the butt on that!"
Lloyd ... "Yeeh, he must workout."
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Length
00:07
Filesize
70k |
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dumb-check.wav
Lloyd ... "Check please."
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Length
00:01
Filesize
8k |
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dumb-deadbird.wav
Harry ... "You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?"
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Length
00:03
Filesize
32k |
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dumb-diareah.wav
Harry makes some terrible noises after being tricked by Lloyd.
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Length
00:26
Filesize
285k |
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dumb-eatthat.wav
Cam Neely as Sea Bass ... "Are you going to eat that?"
Harry ... "What that? No, yes, no, well, no, it, uhh, crossed my mind, yea."
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Length
00:06
Filesize
68k |
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dumb-fired.wav
Harry ... "Do, you got fired again, huh?"
Lloyd ... "Oh, yea. They always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident. You know.."
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Length
00:06
Filesize
62k |
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dumb-french.wav
Harry ... "Where are we gonna go?"
Lloyd ... "...I'm talking about a little place called Aspen."
Harry ... "I dunno Lloyd, the French are assholes."
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Length
00:20
Filesize
218k |
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dumb-funbags.wav
Harry ... "Go look at the fun bags on that hose hound."
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Length
00:10
Filesize
108k |
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dumb-gasmoney.wav
Harry ... "According to the map we've only gone about four inches. You know I don't think we have enough gas money."
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Length
00:05
Filesize
56k |
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dumb-headsoff.wav
Lloyd ... "We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets heads are fallin' off!"
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Length
00:05
Filesize
56k |
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dumb-hooters.wav
Harry ... "Nice set of hooters ya got there."
Mary ... "I beg your pardon?"
Harry ... "The owls. They're beautiful."
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Length
00:07
Filesize
78k |
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dumb-hot.wav
Lloyd and Harry go into a spaz after eating some atomic peppers.
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Length
00:33
Filesize
360k |
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dumb-idea.wav
Harry ... "Wait, I think I just -- Yea, I just had an idea."
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Length
00:05
Filesize
57k |
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dumb-kungfu.wav
Jim Carrey as Lloyd shows off his Kung-Fu.
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Length
00:24
Filesize
256k |
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dumb-limo.wav
??? ... "Sir, you can't go in there!"
Lloyd ... "It's ok! I'm a limo driver!"
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Length
00:07
Filesize
71k |
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dumb-listening.wav
Harry ... "Yea, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something. I don't know I wasn't really paying attention."
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Length
00:06
Filesize
67k |
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dumb-pathetic.wav
Lloyd ... "Man! You are one pathetic loser!"
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Length
00:04
Filesize
43k |
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dumb-petedied.wav
Harry ... "My parakeet Petey, he's dead."
Lloyd ... "Oh I'm sorry. What happened?"
Harry ... "His head fell off!"
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Length
00:16
Filesize
176k |
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dumb-pullover.wav
Motorcycle Cop ... "Pullover!"
Harry ... "No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing."
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Length
00:05
Filesize
58k |
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dumb-robbed.wav
Lloyd ... "I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart, and I didn't even see it coming!"
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Length
00:06
Filesize
69k |
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dumb-sampsnte.wav
Harry ... "What's her last name? I'll look it up."
Lloyd ... "Ahh, you know I don't really recall. Starts with an S."
Harry ... "Maybe it's on the briefcase, look on the--."
Lloyd ... "Oh yeah! It's right here, Sampsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S though!"
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Length
00:26
Filesize
280k |
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dumb-seniors.wav
Lloyd ... "Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose."
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Length
00:08
Filesize
88k |
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dumb-skis.wav
Harry ... "Skis huh?"
Lady ... "That's right."
Harry ... "Great. They yours?"
Lady ... "Uh huh."
Harry ... "Both of them?"
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Length
00:14
Filesize
154k |
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dumb-soup.wav
Lloyd ... "What is the soup de jour?"
Waitress ... "It's the soup of the day."
Lloyd ... "Mmm, that sounds good, I'll have that."
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Length
00:07
Filesize
76k |
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dumb-yourit.wav
Lloyd and Harry play an all-out game of their version of tag.
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Length
00:22
Filesize
232k |
